I loved to understand that there are two types of perfectionism: healthy and unhealthy. The healthy one is related to gain pleasure from working hard at difficult tasks and the unhealthy one is the one that damages the child’s self-esteem and success linked to excessive worry, depression, anxiety, psychological distress and eating disorders. After many years of working with kids, I have encountered students who perfectly fit in both categories. I remember a student who was so obsessed with his work that when he was not satisfied with his performance, he hid under his desk and isolated from the group until I found reasons to make him understand that everybody learns from his mistakes and that it was OK to make them and keep trying.
It's me again! By the way, I am Stella and I am showing up with the name Inspiration.Today, I want to share with you that I like the way the author organizes chapters 3 through 7 by giving first a scenario with a specific case of a child, whose life is controlled by perfectionism, and then, he continues with a section with strategies for the classroom, strategies for the home, and at the end, final thoughts. In the chapter about the academic achiever, I found interesting the use of diagnostic tests, such as pre-tests and post-tests on a topic to help the child recognize and celebrate growth made during a course of a unit of study. I also liked the distinction of the term reward: the intrinsic rewards based on the feeling of accomplishment from learning a new skill and the extrinsic rewards which just rely on grades. As I get further into the reading, I am having a clearer sense of the different ways we need to be attentive to the misconceptions about perfectionism, especially in gifted children. Any thoughts to share?
Don’t want to respond to Tracey’s question just yet. This is my 2nd attempt to get something into this Blog—my first comment went to cyberspace I guess. I’m not sure I agree with all of the myths the authors set out. But then, I’ve never thought of perfectionism as something unique to GT people. I am definitely not academically gifted but have lived with a perfectionist character for many years. I don’t think it’s always bad—but anything taken to extremes can be harmful. I think to identify perfectionists one only need to observe, talk to, and/or work with one to assess this. I think the characteristic goes along with overachieving many times. I’ll be interested to see if this comes into play as I read further into the book. It seems like our school system and its accountability in the testing and recognition push for the Academic Achievers to seek such perfectionism as the authors see as less than healthy. When we pass out papers in my classroom it never ceases to amaze me what my students view as to the marks earned on papers. I hear comments like: “I got a 100!” “This must really be good, I got a happy face.” “Why did I miss this one; its right…oh, no it’s not…” Comments which lead me to wonder if they remember to purpose of the lesson—not how many they missed but what they learned. There must be something wrong somewhere for 2nd graders to come into class afraid to make a mistake or to feel so awful if they do. It takes me several weeks to get kiddoes to allow themselves the chances to try, flounder, learn from their mistakes, and move on. If a classroom setting isn’t a safe place to make a mistake and learn from it, where is one? Having just finished parent conferences and shared some report cards, it was interesting to watch parents review the marks. Some did, indeed, focus on what was done well; but most seemed to look for the comments and lower marks to see where the focus needed to be. But for many, my push was for a bit more effort—perfectionism aside. In viewing and thinking about the Aggravated Accuracy Assessors with the GT students I’ve worked with over the years, I’ve probably seen more who struggle with the neatness and perfectionism issue less than some regular kiddoes. For those who immediately come to mind, it seems they have so much going on, anything goes so they can get on to the next interest. But at the primary level many don’t pursue a sport much, yet, nor long and involved projects. Those who tackle longer writing tasks want to get ideas expressed, not get a perfect handwriting grade. Is this something that comes into play and is more easily visible as students move up in grades? I do like the way the authors offer suggestions for both the home and school. After all, education is not just our responsibility as too many seem to suggest. Do the planners work (like the idea expressed in chap. 3) in the upper grades to help those kiddoes (GT or not) seek or maintain a balance? My own son used one for the required time in middle school; but as an adult doesn’t seem to even make a grocery list, let alone organize blocks of time.
After today's training for NRT and all the data to analyze, etc. it seems those of us who are perfectionists hit a wall in being able to see the perfect scores or all performing at their best on every part of the test. The idea of setting some medium goals will help me not become frenzied and crazy over this year's class' prep for the NRT and other assessments.So to look at the author's suggestions and apply them to myself seems practical and helpful.
I was tickled to see one particular student just this afternoon really wanting to focus on learning a new skill and making sure I knew he was doing that and it wasn't just for a grade. And I think that ties into the point you were trying to make Stella.
As I read more, I'm sure I'll gather some more insights. Anything I should pay particular attention to?
Your input was clear and to the point,Pam. I really liked it!The key to me is to make understand our kids, who are perfectionists, that they need to know that they have all our support. If they can internalize that message, they will become comfortable enough to admit that not everything is perfect.
Well there are 5 different types of perfectionism: the Academic Achiever, Aggravated Accuracy Assessor, Risk Evader, Controlling Image Manager and Procrastinating Perfectionist. According to the book the only way to cure perfectionism is by accepting it and consistently telling yourself you don't have to be perfect. I think this is a little much for a child to take in. Self esteem is huge! We need to be able to help out our kids and empower them to be who they are. So here we are....... Lets dive in and help our kids discover who they are and help them reach their full potential.
It is crazy that there are so many different tests that can be administered to our society. Any wonder why so many of our children have low self esteem. It is like a little old lady once said: "Unitl you hit the wall, you really don't know." Many of our little perfectionists don't hit that wall until middle or high school. By then there are dealing with so many other things that they don't know what to do. I know that my daughter didn't hit that wall until middle school. Are we really doing our kids justice by not allowing them to hit that wall in elementary school?
In an attempt to answer your question, Jim, I see that there is a very fine line between trying to accomplish high standards of excellence and feeling disappointed while failing to reach unrealistic goals. A child should not believe that something is black or white, wrong or right, perfect or useless. He should be able to appreciate the progress and experience gained along the road. Hard, right? It would be great to know that this dichotomy could be fixed easily, but after doing some reading, it is a life-long process.
I'm stuck on 11 Tools and need to return to my reading in this but want to respond to the concerns expressed above. I agree with you, Jim, my own son experienced lots of competition in sports in elementary school and he always knew he wasn't in the top groups or GT; but he maintained a pretty good self-image. But when he hit middle and high school--WOW! I felt as a parent that the teachers were trying extra hard to make him hit failure after failure until they could inflict consequences and more consequences. However, at the same time they wanted misbehaving students to sit near him in class because he was a good role model--yep, he got pulled down and in trouble.
It seems like we spend so much time building up the self-esteem with many of our clientele only to have home and life experiences knock it down. I guess that's life but--ouch!
I agree with Stella's thoughts on the fine line between accomplishing high standards and feelings of disappointment when unable to attain pre-set goals. I remember in college having to really struggle in a philosophy class--I could see both sides of the arguments and the professor wanted me to take a stand and argue one side or the other. Guess I saw too much gray, or maybe I'd been beat down enough to not care...or just not bright enough to see that many differences. Anyway, I came away from that experience a little skittish on arguing; but certainly knew I couldn't maintain my perfectionisms. Perhaps with the testing our schools are imposing, there isn't enough time to discuss or debate issues to make our perfectionists see other sides or the gray areas until they hit the upper middle and high school grades. A life-long process--yes; but can we afford to wait on some?
In chapter three it mentions how teachers will give GT students work on higher levels. That is not GT! That is a student who is advanced, not just GT. high academic students get this as well, but just because someone is labeled GT, it is insufficient to just give them work above their grade level. as far as the "Academic achiever", who must get a 100% on everything, many times I find it is more their parents expectations than their own. I thought that the previous chapter said that assessments should be give by qualified professionals!
Jim, I think it would be fine if we continue reading at our own pace, making comments and responding to comments among ourselves. I find it very meaningful when personal experiences are interwoven! I agree with you about some parents having too high expectations for their children. As a parent myself, we always want the best for our kids. But there is something that we need to remember at all times: we need to maintain a balance so the tendency to be a perfectionist that they inherit from us or their own way of being like that, is a healthy habit where they find time for themselves, activities and socialization.
Well, I finally finished the book. As I was told many years ago by a man I respected quite a lot, GT teaching is just good teaching and all children should be able to benefit from it. The points the authors made don't seem to just be for GT kiddoes. Many children exhibit perfectionism and need to overcome them or suffer. I thought it interesting that the authors' tables 7 and 8 suggested things to do to help perfectionists but table 7, for teachers was longer. Again have we taken on everything parents should do? I can point out (and do) ways I make mistakes, take risks, improve or try things I struggle with, and basically "fall flat on my face." But for a really healthy set of habits to overcome these points need to come from more than one source (i.e. home.) Chapter 10 should be a must read for all parents of at least intermediate aged children. My own child did his own school projects and while they weren't perfect (and often done under the crunch of time)never seemed to look like those of others, who had so much help; one should wonder who did the task. I'd like to think he benefited more from doing them but know that college entrance essay was a huge deal and took him forever...so who knows? I loved the suggestions for developing teamwork through some recess activities, the Mistakes acrostic poems given, and the quotes cited from famous people. If I had a wall I could set aside for famous quotes or things to try these would all be on that wall. I will try some of the sentence stems from page 134 but use them with my younger students as ways to phrase "Comments to give to each other to help them develop or be better writers" in my Writers Workshop. My kiddoes don't have the ideas to stretch each other beyond "I like your picture or I like your story." I keep modeling but they keep slipping back into old habits. Sure hope my class gets to hear "How to be a Perfect Person in Three Days" next year since it was recommended to that age group.I've got lots of second language learners in this class so read-alouds without pictures lose too many of them. I may search out the Ziefert book though. I have one who has "meltdowns" on a regular basis for the smallest of things and this may be a good discussion opener. Anybody own it that I could borrow? As a perused the resources at the back I noticed the Harry Potter movies were there. I've seen most of them but guess I hadn't zeroed in on the character of Hermione--will do so when I watch one on the reruns. But my favorite GT characters on TV are those in "The Big Bang Theory". The character of Sheldon is definitely suffering from lost relationships and experiences because of fears to be perfect and his comments suggest this despite the humor he offers. So to address Tracey's original question--the chart on page 111 pretty much sums up the basics of what to do to help kiddoes overcome unhealthy perfectionism and move forward to a healthier approach. We're all trying to model what should happen, not that it always does. Baby steps...baby steps it seems...no giant leaps.
Making connections with the TV characters that you mentioned, Pam, I would like to make reference to Monk. That’s a fabulous character! He always fights hard to make perfect whatever he is assigned to do. He wants everything clean, hygienic and every work to be extra complete.Humor is a big component and helps to defuse many of the uncomfortable situations he has to go through.So, going back to our question, I also agree with you that we need to help our students overcome unhealthy perfectionism and move forward to a healthier approach. Last, but not least, it was a pleasure to be part of this blog experience and thank you Pam and Jim for your enthusiasm and camaraderie!
I am not sure I agree. I do not think we need to help our children over come anything, well not in 5th grade anyway. They are becoming who they are. If parents want to ignore the any signs their child is having difficulty, they assume that it will be easier later on. It is not true. Once they are set in their ways if is very difficult for them to change even if they want to. It is rare to see a child wanting to change at the same time as the parent. Either on one is usually in denial, which makes the situation harder than it has to be. I have seen this year where the parent along side with a 2nd grade and 3rd grade teachers have made a huge difference in a students life. I get to see the rewards, but always thanking those other teachers. I usually continue what other teachers have begun or try to convince parents there needs to be a change, but they want to wait until they are in middle school. Like that is going to help??
Many times the source of it all is the parents, whether it is that they want their students to translate for them or they themselves are unhealthy perfectionists. They are the ones transferring it to their children, sometimes knowingly and sometimes not.
So we can help our children to try to become who they are, but if parents are inhibiting or denying to help; there is only so much we can do.
We can help a student with perfectionism tendencies. The student needs to be familiar with some possible cause for his/her perfectionism: personality trait, parental influence, past survival experiences, fears, environmental pressure, etc. As teacher we need to spend some time with the student and guide her/him into personality or character exploratory journey.
I partially agree with Jim regarding the obstacles we can encounter when trying to help fifth grade students. Certainly, parents have a powerful influence on their children. However, children at certain age look for other sources to enrich or correct their lives. It is in this developmental stage of the child's life when the teacher can impact on his/her ideas including the idea (obsession) of perfectionism and guide her/him on the right learning path.
Chapter 9 offers some ideas to help children develop a healthy perfectionism. The development of metacognition as a process of reflection, correction, adjustment, application, and evaluation of our ideas, behaviors and works should be encouraged in all students. we have to remember that the GT students are not the only one with tendencies toward perfectionism. We also know that the GT students are the ones who will sharp their intellectual skills by applying metacognition.
I finally was able to start the book and found it interesting how the author said that perfectionism isn't negative, but rather healthy or unhealthy. He also offers many suggestions for unhealthy perfectionism and how it needs to be targeted early, so more severe problems don't arise later in the child's life. I enjoyed reading Chapter 3 about the academic achievers. I related to this chapter the most because my oldest son is one. One strategy that I will adopt for our household is the 6 week celebration. Sometimes we focus on the negative aspects in life and forget that we are modeling for our children. The strategies for the classroom are simplistic and make so much sense. Praise for efforts and progress versus good grades. Why I missed it review and also post and pre-tests have such great value for these kiddos. They are helping them understand that they can make mistakes and learn from them. I look forward to continuing my reading and applying some of these strategies in the classroom.
I loved to understand that there are two types of perfectionism: healthy and unhealthy. The healthy one is related to gain pleasure from working hard at difficult tasks and the unhealthy one is the one that damages the child’s self-esteem and success linked to excessive worry, depression, anxiety, psychological distress and eating disorders.
ReplyDeleteAfter many years of working with kids, I have encountered students who perfectly fit in both categories. I remember a student who was so obsessed with his work that when he was not satisfied with his performance, he hid under his desk and isolated from the group until I found reasons to make him understand that everybody learns from his mistakes and that it was OK to make them and keep trying.
It's me again! By the way, I am Stella and I am showing up with the name Inspiration.Today, I want to share with you that I like the way the author organizes chapters 3 through 7 by giving first a scenario with a specific case of a child, whose life is controlled by perfectionism, and then, he continues with a section with strategies for the classroom, strategies for the home, and at the end, final thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIn the chapter about the academic achiever, I found interesting the use of diagnostic tests, such as pre-tests and post-tests on a topic to help the child recognize and celebrate growth made during a course of a unit of study. I also liked the distinction of the term reward: the intrinsic rewards based on the feeling of accomplishment from learning a new skill and the extrinsic rewards which just rely on grades. As I get further into the reading, I am having a clearer sense of the different ways we need to be attentive to the misconceptions about perfectionism, especially in gifted children. Any thoughts to share?
Don’t want to respond to Tracey’s question just yet. This is my 2nd attempt to get something into this Blog—my first comment went to cyberspace I guess.
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure I agree with all of the myths the authors set out. But then, I’ve never thought of perfectionism as something unique to GT people. I am definitely not academically gifted but have lived with a perfectionist character for many years. I don’t think it’s always bad—but anything taken to extremes can be harmful. I think to identify perfectionists one only need to observe, talk to, and/or work with one to assess this. I think the characteristic goes along with overachieving many times. I’ll be interested to see if this comes into play as I read further into the book.
It seems like our school system and its accountability in the testing and recognition push for the Academic Achievers to seek such perfectionism as the authors see as less than healthy. When we pass out papers in my classroom it never ceases to amaze me what my students view as to the marks earned on papers. I hear comments like: “I got a 100!” “This must really be good, I got a happy face.” “Why did I miss this one; its right…oh, no it’s not…” Comments which lead me to wonder if they remember to purpose of the lesson—not how many they missed but what they learned. There must be something wrong somewhere for 2nd graders to come into class afraid to make a mistake or to feel so awful if they do. It takes me several weeks to get kiddoes to allow themselves the chances to try, flounder, learn from their mistakes, and move on. If a classroom setting isn’t a safe place to make a mistake and learn from it, where is one? Having just finished parent conferences and shared some report cards, it was interesting to watch parents review the marks. Some did, indeed, focus on what was done well; but most seemed to look for the comments and lower marks to see where the focus needed to be. But for many, my push was for a bit more effort—perfectionism aside.
In viewing and thinking about the Aggravated Accuracy Assessors with the GT students I’ve worked with over the years, I’ve probably seen more who struggle with the neatness and perfectionism issue less than some regular kiddoes. For those who immediately come to mind, it seems they have so much going on, anything goes so they can get on to the next interest. But at the primary level many don’t pursue a sport much, yet, nor long and involved projects. Those who tackle longer writing tasks want to get ideas expressed, not get a perfect handwriting grade. Is this something that comes into play and is more easily visible as students move up in grades?
I do like the way the authors offer suggestions for both the home and school. After all, education is not just our responsibility as too many seem to suggest. Do the planners work (like the idea expressed in chap. 3) in the upper grades to help those kiddoes (GT or not) seek or maintain a balance? My own son used one for the required time in middle school; but as an adult doesn’t seem to even make a grocery list, let alone organize blocks of time.
After today's training for NRT and all the data to analyze, etc. it seems those of us who are perfectionists hit a wall in being able to see the perfect scores or all performing at their best on every part of the test. The idea of setting some medium goals will help me not become frenzied and crazy over this year's class' prep for the NRT and other assessments.So to look at the author's suggestions and apply them to myself seems practical and helpful.
ReplyDeleteI was tickled to see one particular student just this afternoon really wanting to focus on learning a new skill and making sure I knew he was doing that and it wasn't just for a grade. And I think that ties into the point you were trying to make Stella.
As I read more, I'm sure I'll gather some more insights. Anything I should pay particular attention to?
Your input was clear and to the point,Pam. I really liked it!The key to me is to make understand our kids, who are perfectionists, that
ReplyDeletethey need to know that they have all our support. If they can internalize that message, they will become comfortable enough to admit that not everything is perfect.
Hi! :)
ReplyDeleteHello there!
Hola, como estas?
Well there are 5 different types of perfectionism: the Academic Achiever, Aggravated Accuracy Assessor, Risk Evader, Controlling Image Manager and Procrastinating Perfectionist. According to the book the only way to cure perfectionism is by accepting it and consistently telling yourself you don't have to be perfect. I think this is a little much for a child to take in. Self esteem is huge! We need to be able to help out our kids and empower them to be who they are. So here we are....... Lets dive in and help our kids discover who they are and help them reach their full potential.
Chapter Two:
ReplyDeleteSo there are healthy and unhealthy perfectionsits right? So why is it that so many of our gifted perfectionists are dichotomous thinkers?
It is crazy that there are so many different tests that can be administered to our society. Any wonder why so many of our children have low self esteem. It is like a little old lady once said: "Unitl you hit the wall, you really don't know." Many of our little perfectionists don't hit that wall until middle or high school. By then there are dealing with so many other things that they don't know what to do. I know that my daughter didn't hit that wall until middle school. Are we really doing our kids justice by not allowing them to hit that wall in elementary school?
ReplyDeleteIn an attempt to answer your question, Jim, I see that there is a very fine line between trying to accomplish high standards of excellence and feeling disappointed while failing to reach unrealistic goals. A child should not believe that something is black or white, wrong or right, perfect or useless. He should be able to appreciate the progress and experience gained along the road. Hard, right? It would be great to know that this dichotomy could be fixed easily, but after doing some reading, it is a life-long process.
ReplyDeleteI'm stuck on 11 Tools and need to return to my reading in this but want to respond to the concerns expressed above. I agree with you, Jim, my own son experienced lots of competition in sports in elementary school and he always knew he wasn't in the top groups or GT; but he maintained a pretty good self-image. But when he hit middle and high school--WOW! I felt as a parent that the teachers were trying extra hard to make him hit failure after failure until they could inflict consequences and more consequences. However, at the same time they wanted misbehaving students to sit near him in class because he was a good role model--yep, he got pulled down and in trouble.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like we spend so much time building up the self-esteem with many of our clientele only to have home and life experiences knock it down. I guess that's life but--ouch!
I agree with Stella's thoughts on the fine line between accomplishing high standards and feelings of disappointment when unable to attain pre-set goals. I remember in college having to really struggle in a philosophy class--I could see both sides of the arguments and the professor wanted me to take a stand and argue one side or the other. Guess I saw too much gray, or maybe I'd been beat down enough to not care...or just not bright enough to see that many differences. Anyway, I came away from that experience a little skittish on arguing; but certainly knew I couldn't maintain my perfectionisms. Perhaps with the testing our schools are imposing, there isn't enough time to discuss or debate issues to make our perfectionists see other sides or the gray areas until they hit the upper middle and high school grades. A life-long process--yes; but can we afford to wait on some?
So are we going to have more questions or are we just asking each other questions as we read?
ReplyDeleteIn chapter three it mentions how teachers will give GT students work on higher levels. That is not GT! That is a student who is advanced, not just GT. high academic students get this as well, but just because someone is labeled GT, it is insufficient to just give them work above their grade level. as far as the "Academic achiever", who must get a 100% on everything, many times I find it is more their parents expectations than their own.
ReplyDeleteI thought that the previous chapter said that assessments should be give by qualified professionals!
Jim, I think it would be fine if we continue reading at our own pace, making comments and responding to comments among ourselves. I find it very meaningful when personal experiences are interwoven!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about some parents having too high expectations for their children. As a parent myself, we always want the best for our kids. But there is something that we need to remember at all times: we need to maintain a balance so the tendency to be a perfectionist that they inherit from us or their own way of being like that, is a healthy habit where they find time for themselves, activities and socialization.
Well, I finally finished the book. As I was told many years ago by a man I respected quite a lot, GT teaching is just good teaching and all children should be able to benefit from it. The points the authors made don't seem to just be for GT kiddoes. Many children exhibit perfectionism and need to overcome them or suffer.
ReplyDeleteI thought it interesting that the authors' tables 7 and 8 suggested things to do to help perfectionists but table 7, for teachers was longer. Again have we taken on everything parents should do? I can point out (and do) ways I make mistakes, take risks, improve or try things I struggle with, and basically "fall flat on my face." But for a really healthy set of habits to overcome these points need to come from more than one source (i.e. home.) Chapter 10 should be a must read for all parents of at least intermediate aged children. My own child did his own school projects and while they weren't perfect (and often done under the crunch of time)never seemed to look like those of others, who had so much help; one should wonder who did the task. I'd like to think he benefited more from doing them but know that college entrance essay was a huge deal and took him forever...so who knows?
I loved the suggestions for developing teamwork through some recess activities, the Mistakes acrostic poems given, and the quotes cited from famous people. If I had a wall I could set aside for famous quotes or things to try these would all be on that wall. I will try some of the sentence stems from page 134 but use them with my younger students as ways to phrase "Comments to give to each other to help them develop or be better writers" in my Writers Workshop. My kiddoes don't have the ideas to stretch each other beyond "I like your picture or I like your story." I keep modeling but they keep slipping back into old habits. Sure hope my class gets to hear "How to be a Perfect Person in Three Days" next year since it was recommended to that age group.I've got lots of second language learners in this class so read-alouds without pictures lose too many of them. I may search out the Ziefert book though. I have one who has "meltdowns" on a regular basis for the smallest of things and this may be a good discussion opener. Anybody own it that I could borrow?
As a perused the resources at the back I noticed the Harry Potter movies were there. I've seen most of them but guess I hadn't zeroed in on the character of Hermione--will do so when I watch one on the reruns. But my favorite GT characters on TV are those in "The Big Bang Theory". The character of Sheldon is definitely suffering from lost relationships and experiences because of fears to be perfect and his comments suggest this despite the humor he offers.
So to address Tracey's original question--the chart on page 111 pretty much sums up the basics of what to do to help kiddoes overcome unhealthy perfectionism and move forward to a healthier approach. We're all trying to model what should happen, not that it always does. Baby steps...baby steps it seems...no giant leaps.
Making connections with the TV characters that you mentioned, Pam, I would like to make reference to Monk. That’s a fabulous character! He always fights hard to make perfect whatever he is assigned to do. He wants everything clean, hygienic and every work to be extra complete.Humor is a big component and helps to defuse many of the uncomfortable situations he has to go through.So, going back to our question, I also agree with you that we need to help our students overcome unhealthy perfectionism and move forward to a healthier approach. Last, but not least, it was a pleasure to be part of this blog experience and thank you Pam and Jim for your enthusiasm and camaraderie!
ReplyDeleteI am not sure I agree. I do not think we need to help our children over come anything, well not in 5th grade anyway. They are becoming who they are. If parents want to ignore the any signs their child is having difficulty, they assume that it will be easier later on. It is not true. Once they are set in their ways if is very difficult for them to change even if they want to. It is rare to see a child wanting to change at the same time as the parent. Either on one is usually in denial, which makes the situation harder than it has to be. I have seen this year where the parent along side with a 2nd grade and 3rd grade teachers have made a huge difference in a students life. I get to see the rewards, but always thanking those other teachers. I usually continue what other teachers have begun or try to convince parents there needs to be a change, but they want to wait until they are in middle school. Like that is going to help??
ReplyDeleteMany times the source of it all is the parents, whether it is that they want their students to translate for them or they themselves are unhealthy perfectionists. They are the ones transferring it to their children, sometimes knowingly and sometimes not.
So we can help our children to try to become who they are, but if parents are inhibiting or denying to help; there is only so much we can do.
We can help a student with perfectionism tendencies. The student needs to be familiar with some possible cause for his/her perfectionism: personality trait, parental influence, past survival experiences, fears, environmental pressure, etc. As teacher we need to spend some time with the student and guide her/him into personality or character exploratory journey.
ReplyDeleteI partially agree with Jim regarding the obstacles we can encounter when trying to help fifth grade students. Certainly, parents have a powerful influence on their children. However, children at certain age look for other sources to enrich or correct their lives. It is in this developmental stage of the child's life when the teacher can impact on his/her ideas including the idea (obsession) of perfectionism and guide her/him on the right learning path.
ReplyDeleteChapter 9 offers some ideas to help children develop a healthy perfectionism. The development of metacognition as a process of reflection, correction, adjustment, application, and evaluation of our ideas, behaviors and works should be encouraged in all students. we have to remember that the GT students are not the only one with tendencies toward perfectionism. We also know that the GT students are the ones who will sharp their intellectual skills by applying metacognition.
ReplyDeleteI finally was able to start the book and found it interesting how the author said that perfectionism isn't negative, but rather healthy or unhealthy. He also offers many suggestions for unhealthy perfectionism and how it needs to be targeted early, so more severe problems don't arise later in the child's life.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading Chapter 3 about the academic achievers. I related to this chapter the most because my oldest son is one. One strategy that I will adopt for our household is the 6 week celebration. Sometimes we focus on the negative aspects in life and forget that we are modeling for our children.
The strategies for the classroom are simplistic and make so much sense. Praise for efforts and progress versus good grades. Why I missed it review and also post and pre-tests have such great value for these kiddos. They are helping them understand that they can make mistakes and learn from them. I look forward to continuing my reading and applying some of these strategies in the classroom.